I Am ___________.

I have been reading a lot of books about our identity lately… (“Who Do You Think You Are?” – Mark Driscoll & “Everyone Is Normal Til You Get To Know Them” –John Ortberg). These books will rip your insides out, twist them a couple of times, maybe stomp on it a little and then shove it back inside you upside down. Trust me. But it is good for you, although you may feel the absolute need to punch someone – I suggest buying a stress ball when going to buy these books as well.

I hear this a lot… “You put out what you put into Master’s Commission,” meaning – in the nicest way possible: be serious about this Discipleship Program or you are just wasting your money… so why are you even here? Have you ever heard that saying, “My dad always said?” Usually when people explain what their dad always said is because, mostly, they spent time with him – have memories of him. There is a song by a Christian rapper who said it perfectly, “You ever spent so much time with a person you started talking like them? See, the company that you keep is certainly going to determine how you walk, how you talk… and we wonder why we’re not looking like Him. – Fruits are the proof that He moved in.” What I’m saying is if you abandon the opportunities God has given you to talk with Him, to spend time with Him, we are missing a chunk of who He is, and who WE are. Think about it, who are you? Do you know what God says about who you are?

You are not your title at your job. Though you are a husband, brother, sister, wife, mom, dad… that isn’t your identity. You are not an addict, or worthless, dirty, depression… but I believe if you keep thinking this way it’s going to show, this sort of false identity will become your idol, and this is what you will start to put out… we often wonder why we feel so hopeless and lost; we don’t know who we really are.

That is what I have been learning here at MC. And much more, of course… but learning this hit me hard. I was assigned those books to read, every page I would come up to my class leader/teacher/intern and beg for another book to read… he laughed at my pain of being tortured by these harsh books and said, “keep reading” with a smile bigger than his head. I was hearing some harsh truths that I didn’t want to hear, but he knew it was good for me (which is also in one of those books too). It’s so easy to get caught up in other things and calling those false identities I listed above, who you are. I am a real testimony of that. I thought since I have had problems with depression and addiction in the past, that that is who I will ever be. There is a song that sings,

“He whispers in my ears and tells me that I am fearless. He shares a melody, tells me to repeat it. And it makes me whole, it reminds my soul… I am all He says I am, and He says I am is all. I was blinded by scales upon my eyes, then He came in like a light, and burned up all the lies. Oh, and He set me free. Chains are broken, the scales are on the floor. Truth is spoken, I’m no orphan anymore. I am loved. I am new again. I am free. I’m no slave to sin. And I’m a saint. I am righteousness. And I’m alive.”

Sometimes we believe we are absolutely free because we are in Christ. And it’s these kinds of false identities that tell us we are wrong, we are still a slave to these identities; it is holding us back from those opportunities of talking with our Father even more. Mark Driscoll said in his book, “Knowing Jesus and being saved by Him in faith is the key to your identity and the defeat of your idolatry. It’s not about you. It’s all about Jesus.” This just confirms what I have been trying to say, spending time with a person, you start acting like them… and we are image-bearers (Genesis 1:26-27). God has made nothing else in His image… we need to hear from God so that we know who we are.

I now know that I am not my past, but it is only a part of me. That’s it though, it is called a “past” for a reason. It’s been left behind. I am not to go back. Yesterday, my class had a Leadership Workshop with the pastors of Crossroads Fellowship (our church), Jim Rion (the speaker) told us this: "Why do you think God parted the Red Sea instead of just building a bridge or bringing a boat for the Israelites? Maybe it's because when the Red Sea crashed together again, the Israelites were never meant to go back, but to just move forward." Mark Driscoll also said, “You aren’t what’s been done to you but what Jesus has done for you. You aren’t what you do but what Jesus has done. What you do doesn’t determine who you are. Rather, who you are in Christ, determines what you do. These are fundamental truths…”

Being here at MC in Houston, Texas… I have realized something. My classmates and I… man do we have backgrounds. We are all far from perfect, yet God chose us during this season to be His hands and feet. I bet a lot of people we come in contact with think we are these “Jesus freaks who never do anything wrong, and we are squeaky clean in love with the Lord.” It’s true, we are Jesus Freaks, and we are pretty in love with Him, but we are nowhere to being clean. You know, Saul in the bible – before he became Paul the Apostle, he was a murderer… and then he started doing God’s work. And he wrote Ephesians that actually talks about our true identity. I know someone who says this so much because he knows it to be true, “We are loved 100% as is, and that is the mystery of God…” I thought being here will help shape who I am, and being a part of something will feel great... God definitely snatched that away from me quickly. You can keep drowning yourself in other things to finally be something... but you already are something. You are God's. 

So, who are you? Do you really know? 

We reminded a youth group in La Vernia (near San Antonio) about their real identity this past Wednesday...