I have seen how faithful God has been to me through this whole process. The fundraising part was like walking through hell. It was awful. Hard. There were times I was on my knees in prayer begging God for a miracle, and He showed up. What I learned through that is His faithfulness, even when we are not completely 100% faithful. I believe if I hadn't seen God do the impossible during my fundraising time for India, my faith right now - at this point - wouldn't be able to stand firm when the enemy used this little Visa issue and tried to shake me. I was shaken for a second, but I didn't fall. I know that this little battle belongs to God - who makes ALL THINGS work together for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His PURPOSE.
God Isn't A Liar
I will still be able to go to India. God told me several weeks ago I was called to go to India. God isn't a liar... and He will not make Himself look like a fool. I know - by the grace of God and His goodness - He will take me to India Himself. God told me I was going to India, He didn't say when... I will be leaving some time this week.
I have my own mission. My mission will not be the same as my classmates. There's is great, and I have been praying for them and their ministry like crazy. My mission - whatever it may be (witnessing to someone next to me on the plane, sharing this testimony with you, or just going through this experience in order to grow and learn) is PURPOSEFUL. And it is God's alone. I cannot wait to figure out my purpose in going. I know that God will come through, He always has.
Growing Mature
Several people have commented on my level of maturity and faith about this problem. But if it wasn't for some people in my life, my direction would be completely different and quite pathetic. That's why community is important and retreating, running away from people is dangerous. When we are alone, our thoughts haunt us, when we are with someone, they are speaking life and truth to us in encouragement. I love to sulk in my self-pity... and that's where I would have been. But I learned from two great people whom I love dearly and who are huge faith warriors this: "Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, when facing trials of many kinds... for it produces perseverance." I recently read something in Psalms that says: "She does not fear bad news, she confidently trusts the Lord to take care of her." *Psalm 112:7. All I have been getting lately is plainly bad news, but I rebuke the worry and the fear and the frustration. I am learning to trust God through this stressful process.
Act NOT React.We dictate how we will feel, think, and act when we hear bad news. We can either sit and sulk and have a bad attitude, or we can stand up, do something, fight our biggest giants with God on our side and conquer them. It's our choice. And I choose to be joyful, it's okay to be disappointed in bad news, but we must not dwell. God is waiting to use us in any situation we are in. And PRAY like it's no tomorrow. We must act out in prayer. Tell god our hearts, our desires, our everything... He is the One and only Father I have, and to run into His arms through this process has been the most humbling, pride-smasher, and peaceful experience I've ever had. God is all powerful and sovereign, yes... but when He hears our prayer over and over and how passionate we are about something, God becomes passionate with you. When we made the choice to have a relationship with Him, we made the choice of believing in His good and perfect will.
"Is God Sovereign over all things? Can we move Him by our prayers? The answer is yes." ~Ben Sledge
"God invites us to pray. In such a way that it scares what is scared within us. If you are not praying the type of prayers that scare you, they are certainly not frightening our enemy." ~Lisa Bevere (Girls With Swords).
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