Is Change Really A Thing? / Excuse Me For Being Blunt

"People don't change."

I swore to myself that I wouldn't write anything about New Year's Eve or anything to do with change. I see it all over Social Media and it sort of bothers me. We take up Resolutions just to forget about them the second week of the entire year. I find it hard to believe someone when they try to tell me what's going to be different about them this upcoming year. They just don't work. And I used to believe none of us could really change. That we are all so stuck in our shells of selfishness, that it is impossible for us to change. 

Your lack of change is because you lack discipline and self-control. 

You can change. I have stories of friends who did just that. Some of those friends helped myself change afterwards. 

Believing you or others can't change is a manifestation of pride. 

ouch. But I'm not sorry I said it.
I am just like this too.
We all are.
How? Selfishness is the reason we believe that = pride. It really isn't a science. As human beings, we are naturally selfish and prideful, but it doesn't mean we should accept that.

I know someone I met in India who used to be a part of the mob, until Jesus got ahold of him one day and it changed his life forever. I know a young woman who was caught in sex & drugs, but then someone she knew was in love with the Lord and continued to be that light in her life... she finally came to Christ and is clean. I also know another man who was a soldier, came back home from Afghanistan with PTSD, got caught up in alcohol & drugs, found Jesus, and he now is a college pastor and a director for an online Christian organization that deals with addictions - and because of him and that organization, it saved me from my addictions.

Change is inevitable. 

Everyone changes. No one stays the same. We mature... some more slower than others. But we never stop. We never stop learning life lessons and experiences. We're going to change even if we don't try to.

Change really is a thing. So here's that one annoying question: What change are you going to make for 2014? What goals do you have for the future? Tomorrow is your clean slate. The past is left with 2013. The past is the past. After midnight, what are you going to let go of? After midnight, what will you forgive yourself for? After midnight tonight... are you going to move forward? Any goals?

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My Goals:
Graduate Master's Commission
Prayer be my first priority everyday
Overcome some personal things / Forgive myself / Forget my past / Move on
Start planning my future ministry: Orphanages & trips / Schooling

Mafia & Apples to Apples in the Middle of Mumbai Airport / India Journal Part 4

This is an India series... my thoughts, and experiences I put into my journal - edited, now sharing with you...

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I particularly love this part of the entire trip. I know we're not serving... but community. I never thought I'd love community this much. My brothers and sisters are pretty great, and just being able to spend time with them as we wait in the Mumbai airport to get back to America... it was first, exhausting having to stay up all night to wait for our flight, and second, rewarding, getting to know them a little better. During mission trips - even just being in Master's Commission - there is a lot of waiting involved. A lot of time being killed. You learn a lot of patience... it's sort of forced. But it's a good thing! 

I love missions. I love people so much. I love God even more. Who would have thought that someone like me who loves being alone would be saying these words? Bu ever since that orphanage, love has become a new meaning to me. I am finally content on where I am today and how I got here - how I got here was a complete mess. Maybe that phrase, "beauty out of ashes" is sort of true. There's a sort of peace within my soul I've never felt before. Even the people who have wronged me, I've started forgiving...true love. This love has got me so wrapped up in it, I feel better about myself and who I am, and who I am becoming... this is called freedom. And it's only caught by God, who is Love.

I never thought a lesson could be made through games like Mafia and Apples to Apples...

Some Images Just Never Leave You / India Journal Part 3

This is an India series... my thoughts, and experiences I put into my journal - edited, now sharing with you...

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There are no photos for this blog. Because I believe the people I saw in Mumbai - right outside the airport - deserve more dignity than what they've been given. I saw naked, homeless people sleeping underneath an overpass. People would walk/drive by like this was normal. Like this was okay. But I saw dirty, broken humanity that the Enemy has tremendously warped. However, in the midst of the sadness, somehow I was able to find God's light and mercy through one of the kids I will never forget.

The little boy is burned into my head, it never leaves me and tears well up every time I think of him. My soul feels uneasy knowing he is out there sleeping on the streets and God knows what has happened to him or what is currently going through. The urge to sweep him up into my arms was almost inevitable... it was awful. Although I never got to talk with him and love him... instead just pass him by because I had somewhere else I was heading and quite honestly... excuse me for my boldness, but I had places to be. I didn't have time for him. I think that is one thing I didn't like about this mission trip to India. We never had time for a lot of people... who may have needed us the most. Don't get me wrong, God did great and awesome things there. People were healed, people were saved, people were loved and cared for... but I often think about that little boy on the side of the road underneath the overpass sleeping naked. And you're telling me there was nothing I could do for him? How about he could have my blanket? My pillow. Heck, just take me entire luggage. True religion is serving and helping the orphan and the widow...

I am guilty of not stopping. I am guilty of not doing anything for him, or anyone underneath that overpass. My heart is heavy for them, but with no action, is my love meaningless? All I know is God is a God of all circumstances. God is Just, Righteous, and Powerful. He is Right, IN CONTROL, and Good. Because seeing this, my heart dropped to the floor and it made me fall in love with Jesus more; these are His people. These aren't "people of India," these are "Children of God." I was reminded that this is exactly the reason Jesus came down to earth, took on a cross and died, and defeated death by rising from the grave. We are royal, we are clean, we are hopeful, and we are beautiful. And because of that I know - in particular - this little boy is a royal heir of the Most High... no one can touch him. No one can touch God's precious children. I just know that everyone is valuable. I pray for this kid everyday. I pray he is safe, and his family is with him and he is not feeling alone. I pray for blessings in his life, and I constantly speak life for this little kid... I pray for his comfort and peace. This little boy is beautiful to me.

Why the Enemy Was Fighting to Keep Me Out of India / India Journal Part 2

This is an India series... my thoughts, and experiences I put into my journal - edited, now sharing with you...

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Here are the ways Satan tried extremely hard to keep me out of India:
1) Raising the money was almost impossible for me.
2) My visa arrived 3 days later, I had to fly by myself 3 days late without my team.
3) When arriving to India, Immigration wouldn't let me leave the airport until I had a secure address on where I was staying (long story).

I'm surprised he didn't try to bring down the plane...
I believe it didn't go down because of my classmates who prayed over me, because they knew the enemy didn't want me going; they knew it was going to be rough journey.

I knew that God was fighting for me to be in India. I just didn't know why. All of a sudden, it became more than just wanting to go to India... the more I prayed over this country, the more I worked to get myself there, the more I begged God for patience through my circumstances, and for miracles... the more I became incredibly passionate about His people in India. Still, I knew there was a reason why the enemy did not want me there. I knew I was supposed to go. I just knew. And I knew God would make a way. You see, I learned that nothing can stop Him and His purpose. What's even more great was God wasn't just showing me what He can do, but He was showing everyone who was watching this happening to me. We all knew there was some sort of reason for this drama.

1) Faithfulness - I was supposed to learn a lot about God's faithfulness. He didn't just show me this month, He showed me my testimony. He pulled me through some dark times, I've learned. We don't live life through a formula or math problem, I know... we live through moments... and the moments of my life led me to this one moment I'm living for now. I learned God got me through each moment.

2) Pride to Humility - God taught me how to start breaking down my walls of pride. Being here, and being in India. I believe the enemy didn't want me to do that... because the more he could build more blocks... the more he could misguide me and keep me from my calling.

3) "I choose you!" - Have you watched Pokemon before? When I think of the show, I am reminded of when Ash would exclaim, "Pikachu! I choose you!" I feel like that's how God is a lot. He sees someone who needs to experience something, or for some reason it's part of their calling... so I believe God said that to me. He chose me to make some little orphan children smile by giving them Christmas gifts... He chose me, ME... some ordinary young woman to heal an older woman physically. That's right, she was healed in Jesus' name and God decided to use me!

4) My Calling - God has given me a vision to build orphanages in the regions of Asia, and America for children who potentially are at risk or were victims of Child Sex Trafficking. I'm excited to give you this news. I've been prayerfully considering... and God just confirmed it when I was at the Girl's Orphanage in India. I prayed a little more about it, and this is my first real announcement about it. I'm excited to partner with churches and organizations to make this happen. I am currently getting my Biblical Counseling Bachelor's Degree, and I plan on going to school for a BA in counseling as well. God willing. I still plan on ministering in Korea... North Korea and China are very well known for human trafficking. In the next 5 years, I see myself graduating some college and starting my ministry with orphans. My heart is heavy (in a good way) for these girls. I know this is exactly where God wants me. I don't want to be a super-hero for these children... but I want to point them to the hero who saved us, tore the veil, and made a way to be with Him forever. Free.

"The Darkness only wins if you allow it to..." ~Renee Yohe

This is Love / India Journal Pt. 1

This is an India series... my thoughts, and experiences I put into my journal - edited, now sharing with you...

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I don't think you will ever get a glimpse of love until you see it on the face of a child's. They literally have nothing else to live for... nothing left to lose. And it's beautiful. All this time I thought I understood "love". Boy, do we throw that word around likes it's just a paper ball of trash. We're eventually going to just throw it away. What a waste. I want to love like it's not something I waste. I wonder if this is how Jesus felt during His ministry - this sense of humility and passionate love for His people. Before turning on the road towards the girl's orphanage in Gujurat, India... God showed me a passage in the love chapter of 1 Corinthians. 

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. ~1 Corinthians 13:1-3

I have a confession to make. I haven't loved anyone. I have loved to the best of my ability, but I never loved anyone. I never loved a soul until I saw a beautiful young girl's face in the center of a crowded orphanage building in the middle of nowhere. And she was stunning. Suddenly, I was in India... at this orphanage... not to say I've been to India... but God to do something amazing and heart-wrenching in my life. Suddenly I was India to love on these children. A new found love I've never known before until now. 

I know it's hard to grasp. What love really is, and if I really did find that love Jesus felt while walking down the streets during His ministry. But I know a few things for sure, God is real, love is real, and God is love; and I caught a glimpse of His love at this orphanage I never want to take back. I've never felt a part of something greater than myself...

The Plot Twist

I am sad to say I wasn't able to leave with my team for India on Sunday afternoon. You see, I am originally from Indiana, so I had to get my Visa in Chicago - and because of that small plot twist in this very interesting voyage in my life, I wasn't able to leave in time with my team. The Visa is still in Chicago and hasn't been shipped to me yet. But you know what? That's okay...

Let me tell you the secret of how I am being so super calm about this right now... oh wait, half the time, I haven't been! But here are a few things I've been learning from this experience...
I have seen how faithful God has been to me through this whole process. The fundraising part was like walking through hell. It was awful. Hard. There were times I was on my knees in prayer begging God for a miracle, and He showed up. What I learned through that is His faithfulness, even when we are not completely 100% faithful. I believe if I hadn't seen God do the impossible during my fundraising time for India, my faith right now - at this point - wouldn't be able to stand firm when the enemy used this little Visa issue and tried to shake me. I was shaken for a second, but I didn't fall. I know that this little battle belongs to God - who makes ALL THINGS work together for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His PURPOSE.

God Isn't A Liar
I will still be able to go to India. God told me several weeks ago I was called to go to India. God isn't a liar... and He will not make Himself look like a fool. I know - by the grace of God and His goodness - He will take me to India Himself. God told me I was going to India, He didn't say when... I will be leaving some time this week.
I have my own mission. My mission will not be the same as my classmates. There's is great, and I have been praying for them and their ministry like crazy. My mission - whatever it may be (witnessing to someone next to me on the plane, sharing this testimony with you, or just going through this experience in order to grow and learn) is PURPOSEFUL. And it is God's alone. I cannot wait to figure out my purpose in going. I know that God will come through, He always has.

Growing Mature
Several people have commented on my level of maturity and faith about this problem. But if it wasn't for some people in my life, my direction would be completely different and quite pathetic. That's why community is important and retreating, running away from people is dangerous. When we are alone, our thoughts haunt us, when we are with someone, they are speaking life and truth to us in encouragement. I love to sulk in my self-pity... and that's where I would have been. But I learned from two great people whom I love dearly and who are huge faith warriors this: "Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, when facing trials of many kinds... for it produces perseverance." I recently read something in Psalms that says: "She does not fear bad news, she confidently trusts the Lord to take care of her." *Psalm 112:7. All I have been getting lately is plainly bad news, but I rebuke the worry and the fear and the frustration. I am learning to trust God through this stressful process.


Act NOT React.
We dictate how we will feel, think, and act when we hear bad news. We can either sit and sulk and have a bad attitude, or we can stand up, do something, fight our biggest giants with God on our side and conquer them. It's our choice. And I choose to be joyful, it's okay to be disappointed in bad news, but we must not dwell. God is waiting to use us in any situation we are in. And PRAY like it's no tomorrow. We must act out in prayer. Tell god our hearts, our desires, our everything... He is the One and only Father I have, and to run into His arms through this process has been the most humbling, pride-smasher, and peaceful experience I've ever had. God is all powerful and sovereign, yes... but when He hears our prayer over and over and how passionate we are about something, God becomes passionate with you. When we made the choice to have a relationship with Him, we made the choice of believing in His good and perfect will.

"Is God Sovereign over all things? Can we move Him by our prayers? The answer is yes." ~Ben Sledge

"God invites us to pray. In such a way that it scares what is scared within us. If you are not praying the type of prayers that scare you, they are certainly not frightening our enemy." ~Lisa Bevere (Girls With Swords). 

India Schedule & Prayer Requests

If you would like to know what exactly we're doing in India, here is the schedule we have been given! I'm so excited!

1-Dec (Sunday) 6PM, Houston: Leaving for Dubai
2-Dec (Monday) 12PM, Dubai: Reaching Dubai
2-Dec (Monday) 4PM, Dubai: Leaving for Mumbai
2-Dec (Monday) 8PM, Mumbai: Reaching Mumbai
2-Dec (Monday) 9PM, Mumbai: Travelling to Vyara (6 hr trip)

3-Dec (Tuesday) 3AM, Vyara: Reaching Vyara; staying in Hotel
3-Dec (Tuesday) 4PM-6PM, Vyara: Visiting Crossroads Girls’ Children Home in Songhad

4-Dec (Wednesday) 6PM-9PM, Uchal: Day 1 Crusade in Uchal (Approx 20,000 people attending).

5-Dec (Thursday) 10AM-1PM, Uchal: Pastors/Believers/Youth Meeting Day 1
5-Dec (Thursday) 6PM-9PM, Uchal: Day 2 Crusade

6-Dec (Friday) 10AM-1PM, Uchal: Pastors/Believers/Youth Meeting Day 2
6-Dec (Friday) 6PM-9PM, Uchal: Day 3 Crusade

7-Dec (Saturday) 10AM-1PM, Uchal: Pastors/Belivers/Youth Meeting Day 3
7-Dec (Saturday) 6PM-9PM, Uchal: Day 4 Crusade

8-Dec (Sunday) 10AM-1PM, Vyara: Sunday Service in Songhad
8-Dec (Sunday) Evening, Mumbai: Travelling to Mumbai and Flying to Dubai

9-Dec (Monday) Morning, Dubai: Staying in Hotel in Dubai; sightseeing

10-Dec (Tuesday) Day-time, Dubai: Sightseeing

Midnight-Early Morning Flying to Houston

11-Dec (Wednesday) 9AM or 4PM: Reaching Houston

Prayer Requests:

1. Please pray for our safety while travelling to India. India is a hostile nation, so we're not technically going as "missionaries" but as "tourists". Please pray that God will keep us safe there and back. 
2. Pray for the people in India will hear the gospel and receive it. Pray for their hearts to be touched and changed. Pray for the crusades to run smoothly as there will be thousands and thousands of people there. 
3. Pray that God will be able to use us and give us the opportunity to be used. 

Lessons God Taught Me During Fundraising

This girl started out needing to raise $1400 by November 14th for India (which was a little less than a month away) but she wasn't getting any luck. All of a sudden, she only had a weekend to raise it. She stood on street corners holding up a sign all by herself saying "Help me get to India $." She somehow managed to raise over $300, and some other donations from somewhere else started pouring in. Unfortunately, she didn't make the deadline.With only $500, she thought it was quits. Until someone matched her $500... and now with a little over $1,000, she was still able to raise the rest which she still needed to raise $1100 more (altogether the trip was $2500). She had no luck again! She was growing weary. The due date to have all the money was coming soon, and she already told one of her classmates she was giving up, that there was no way she could raise $1100 within a day. Then her classmate looked at her and said "you're not giving up." Then God told her to be still. You see, she was trying so hard, willing to do whatever it takes because she knew she was called to go. Then the next day... the due date... EVERYTHING started flooding in... all of it. A week before the trip to India.

I GOT THE MONEY! NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO HEAR ME BEG FOR MONEY OVER FACEBOOK ANYMORE! HALLELUJAH! 

Here are some lessons I've learned from fundraising...

1. God talks to you...
   Maybe not audibly (but that would be way cool)... but there is something inside you that knows whatever idea you got or thought, just seemed good. That is what happened to me. A lot. When I was standing outside with a sign asking for money with hundreds of passing cars, God told me I was going to get at least $100. But I was getting tired, I wanted to go inside, and then He told me again; right after that, someone pulls up with $200. Don't tell me that was a coincidence. 
   Also, when I was struggling to raise the money again, I was freaking out and doubting and working too hard to raise it. So God told me to be still. To stop trying altogether, trust Him with everything you got and watch what He can do. He certainly proved Himself to be faithful.
2. Comparing the amount of money you have with someone else's amount only leads to discouragement.
3. Patience. It's God's timing, not anyone else's. A due-date means nothing to God's timing.
4. Obedience is key. Do all that you can.
   In the bible it talks about how you must prepare the field while you pray for rain. Get ready to receive from the Lord.
5. Already start praising and thanking God for what He is about to do.
6. God isn't a liar; if you are told you are called to go, you are going.
7. Beg God for a miracle. All the time. 
8. Never cease in prayer.
9. Hold onto this: "I don't need to see it to believe it." (Tear Down the Walls - Hillsong)
   We sang this song at church not too long ago, I was still struggling financially for India and I was so discouraged. But the wonder of Christ to us is that we don't need to see this light to believe it. Hope and faith.
10. Above all - God is faithful.
    He is going to show you a very scary mountain and then He's going to crumble it. Don't underestimate what God can do. He is victorious over everything. Our pastor this past Sunday said this: "Sometimes we need giant killers to stand up and fight." Sometimes, you've got to fight for your calling because the enemy likes to snatch it away in a heartbeat. Which is rewarding, because it only makes you want it more. And that is like a slap in the face to him. 

Why Today Changed My Perspective on Thanksgiving...

Personally, I have never been a fan of Thanksgiving and other holidays. Yeah, it was great to celebrate the remembrance of Jesus Christ and stuff but I still couldn't stand the holidays for other reasons. But what happened today completely threw my thinking about Thanksgiving away and replaced it with a joy I have never felt before. I know that Thanksgiving is about being thankful... yadda, yadda... food. But let me tell you something else...

Serving.
Yeah. That's what I said. Something about humbling yourself, and crumbling your pride really does something to your character. You become more happy... and more thankful. You start to enjoy the company of others, and you love giving others their smiles back. Something about blessing those in need is so anointing and innocent. I wonder if that is what Jesus has been trying to show us after all. Yes, hammering down your pride isn't pleasant by all means, but once you hit humility and you make someone's day - it is worth it, and you love it.

That is how I felt today. My team and our church, Crossroads Fellowship, gave out free candy and 400 turkeys to all the houses we serve weekly. 400 houses got 400 turkeys! We had a bunch of floats, hot-rods, Santa Claus, and more... It was definitely one of the most amazing days I've ever had. Just loving on each person as we pass by... it is exhausting... but it is a beautiful blessing. The thing is, we don't have to tell them about Jesus, because of this, they can already see something different about us.

Thanksgiving is about giving thanks. It is about appreciating those around you. It's about serving. Putting yourself last - to sacrifice and willing to give away yourself for someone else's benefit. Today, I saw a piece of Thanksgiving and love restored and a community that was brought together for a moment. Something about it was so peaceful. In the midst of all the cheerful noise and chaos, it was very peaceful.

You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.  This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. ~2 Corinthians 9:11-12

Dedication #1: Rychi

I was going to post something really cool with testimonies and such... but I had to postpone it... simply because of one amazing young woman who succeeded in stealing my heart at the get-go, especially this week. She'll say she isn't super-woman, but I still sometimes question if she really doesn't believe she is, or it's just a "no big deal" sort of facetious way. Anyway, usually when we give compliments, people are so easy to shake their head and say, "no-no," (which is what she did). But please, hear me out... let me tell you about someone who has inspired me.

Her name is Rychi. And Rychi, if you're reading this and you think you're under appreciated, this is a lie from the enemy. 100%, we see your hard work, and the work you do for Master's Commission. This is the first girl I talked to over the phone before moving to MC. She was the one that told me everything there is to know about MC. She helped me to make the decision whether or not I should even attend this Discipleship Program - she was a huge help in making that decision.

Let me tell you about Rychi,
She handles the finances for MC, the dramas we do, and she has been a complete rock-star through this India project (especially with the drama with the Visas). And she probably does other stuff we don't even know about. Lately, things have been pretty stressful; a lot of us here at Master's have been exhausted, frustrated with each other, yet we're having to keep moving forward - always doing something. It's been stressful, and there's more stress awaiting this whole next month, too.

When I see Rychi handling the finances for India, taking charge of Visas, or training a brand new drama, I see hard work. She puts her all into everything she does and she has challenged me to be just like that as well. Yet she is tired - she pushes through it. Rychi really does exercise the verse, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for God and not for men." She takes everything she does seriously, and she does it with a smile on her face. Anything she has to say is worth hearing - I'm not saying she is the wisest person I have met, but if you haven't heard her speak, you will never understand why... she is just so passionate.

So when I say she has super-powers, or she is super-human, I'm not saying she is perfect, I am saying that because Christ has given her His light that shines through her - she is able to be the hands and feet of His wonderful ministry. I believe that God isn't finished with her - not at all. And it overwhelms me to tears to think about that.

Rychi, love you, kid. If there is anything that I am thankful for, it is definitely you.

I Am ___________.

I have been reading a lot of books about our identity lately… (“Who Do You Think You Are?” – Mark Driscoll & “Everyone Is Normal Til You Get To Know Them” –John Ortberg). These books will rip your insides out, twist them a couple of times, maybe stomp on it a little and then shove it back inside you upside down. Trust me. But it is good for you, although you may feel the absolute need to punch someone – I suggest buying a stress ball when going to buy these books as well.

I hear this a lot… “You put out what you put into Master’s Commission,” meaning – in the nicest way possible: be serious about this Discipleship Program or you are just wasting your money… so why are you even here? Have you ever heard that saying, “My dad always said?” Usually when people explain what their dad always said is because, mostly, they spent time with him – have memories of him. There is a song by a Christian rapper who said it perfectly, “You ever spent so much time with a person you started talking like them? See, the company that you keep is certainly going to determine how you walk, how you talk… and we wonder why we’re not looking like Him. – Fruits are the proof that He moved in.” What I’m saying is if you abandon the opportunities God has given you to talk with Him, to spend time with Him, we are missing a chunk of who He is, and who WE are. Think about it, who are you? Do you know what God says about who you are?

You are not your title at your job. Though you are a husband, brother, sister, wife, mom, dad… that isn’t your identity. You are not an addict, or worthless, dirty, depression… but I believe if you keep thinking this way it’s going to show, this sort of false identity will become your idol, and this is what you will start to put out… we often wonder why we feel so hopeless and lost; we don’t know who we really are.

That is what I have been learning here at MC. And much more, of course… but learning this hit me hard. I was assigned those books to read, every page I would come up to my class leader/teacher/intern and beg for another book to read… he laughed at my pain of being tortured by these harsh books and said, “keep reading” with a smile bigger than his head. I was hearing some harsh truths that I didn’t want to hear, but he knew it was good for me (which is also in one of those books too). It’s so easy to get caught up in other things and calling those false identities I listed above, who you are. I am a real testimony of that. I thought since I have had problems with depression and addiction in the past, that that is who I will ever be. There is a song that sings,

“He whispers in my ears and tells me that I am fearless. He shares a melody, tells me to repeat it. And it makes me whole, it reminds my soul… I am all He says I am, and He says I am is all. I was blinded by scales upon my eyes, then He came in like a light, and burned up all the lies. Oh, and He set me free. Chains are broken, the scales are on the floor. Truth is spoken, I’m no orphan anymore. I am loved. I am new again. I am free. I’m no slave to sin. And I’m a saint. I am righteousness. And I’m alive.”

Sometimes we believe we are absolutely free because we are in Christ. And it’s these kinds of false identities that tell us we are wrong, we are still a slave to these identities; it is holding us back from those opportunities of talking with our Father even more. Mark Driscoll said in his book, “Knowing Jesus and being saved by Him in faith is the key to your identity and the defeat of your idolatry. It’s not about you. It’s all about Jesus.” This just confirms what I have been trying to say, spending time with a person, you start acting like them… and we are image-bearers (Genesis 1:26-27). God has made nothing else in His image… we need to hear from God so that we know who we are.

I now know that I am not my past, but it is only a part of me. That’s it though, it is called a “past” for a reason. It’s been left behind. I am not to go back. Yesterday, my class had a Leadership Workshop with the pastors of Crossroads Fellowship (our church), Jim Rion (the speaker) told us this: "Why do you think God parted the Red Sea instead of just building a bridge or bringing a boat for the Israelites? Maybe it's because when the Red Sea crashed together again, the Israelites were never meant to go back, but to just move forward." Mark Driscoll also said, “You aren’t what’s been done to you but what Jesus has done for you. You aren’t what you do but what Jesus has done. What you do doesn’t determine who you are. Rather, who you are in Christ, determines what you do. These are fundamental truths…”

Being here at MC in Houston, Texas… I have realized something. My classmates and I… man do we have backgrounds. We are all far from perfect, yet God chose us during this season to be His hands and feet. I bet a lot of people we come in contact with think we are these “Jesus freaks who never do anything wrong, and we are squeaky clean in love with the Lord.” It’s true, we are Jesus Freaks, and we are pretty in love with Him, but we are nowhere to being clean. You know, Saul in the bible – before he became Paul the Apostle, he was a murderer… and then he started doing God’s work. And he wrote Ephesians that actually talks about our true identity. I know someone who says this so much because he knows it to be true, “We are loved 100% as is, and that is the mystery of God…” I thought being here will help shape who I am, and being a part of something will feel great... God definitely snatched that away from me quickly. You can keep drowning yourself in other things to finally be something... but you already are something. You are God's. 

So, who are you? Do you really know? 

We reminded a youth group in La Vernia (near San Antonio) about their real identity this past Wednesday...

Faithfulness

There's a lot to say and not enough time to say it all. I have approximately 15 minutes until I leave for church service tonight, and then it's heading to Wal Mart afterwards to fetch a few clothing items for our service tomorrow doing dramas. That's what it has been like almost everyday. We are constantly doing things. Personally, I'm not complaining. I love Master's Commission and the environment too much for me to leave. I wish I could tell you about everything we have been up to, every single detail. Unfortunately, I am short on time. So here's a little bit of an update...

1) India
I have been in the process of raising money for our big trip to India this December 1st. It seems unreal to think about how fast December is coming. Seriously, the days at MC seem to blend quickly.

2) Drama Training
Yes. And I love it. Us first-years have been learning a lot of dramas and skits. I have learned several already, and we're performing 2 of them tomorrow for Chapel at a private school. I am ecstatic about this!

3) Adopt-A-Block
Every Saturday we get into group of 3-4 people and we are assigned a block to serve. That means we ask each house if there is anything we can do for them (wash your car, mow the lawn, paint a fence...). My block, I ask that you pray for my block. We pray them constantly - praying for relationships to form with them and eventually, hopefully, show them Christ. Adopt-A-Block is my favorite part of the week quite honestly.

4) West Coast Bible College, Discipleship Class, Word Devours, Hebrew Class, Scripture Memorization, Monthly books...
So when we're not doing anything else, we're doing these things. You see what I mean about being busy all the time? Actually, I have a Word Devour (basically a sermon/devotional) and class due tomorrow... I should probably be doing that instead of typing this.

5) Another thing is God's been teaching me the difference between mine and His faithfulness. God Himself, has been showing me quite actively His faithfulness. And in return, I try to myself (though it's not as near as perfect...). I have been overwhelmed by the Grace He has been showing me and the prayers He's been answering the day I pray them. God is good - if you're in a season of waiting, I say keep waiting. Keep serving. Keep praying. Keep listening. He's going to answer soon.

Here are some quick photos...

September 1st-October 10th

#bleedMC

If you don’t know what ‘MC’ stands for, it is Master’s Commission. More specifically, in Houston, TX. H-Town Master’s Commission. If you’re still not aware of what I am talking about, it is this... A 9 month Discipleship Program and Bible College. Basically. And it’s awesome.

Here’s what you missed this month…

Discipline Month, 6AM Workouts, Waiting, West Coast Bible College Classes, Covenant Night, Worship team, Drama Training, SCHEDULE CHANGE, School Assemblies, Waiting, Scripture Memorization, Travel, Downtown, Drama Training, Stomp Team Training, Waiting, Church, Morning Prayer, SCHEDULE CHANGE, Leadership Summit, 6AM Workouts, West Coast, Reading, Drama Training, Chapel, Adopt-A-Block, SCHEDULE CHANGE, 6AM Workouts, Chair & Table setup, Chair & Table tear down, Waiting, Discipleship Class, Speech Class, SCHEDULE CHANGE, more waiting, more West Coast, more scripture, more drama training, more reading, more travelling, more workouts…. You get the point.

It’s not bad. It’s been great. My class is out this world and better than you. Just kidding. No, but really.

There will be more stories to come soon, photos, and videos… but I should be doing West Coast instead of typing this right now…

Pray for my team!